Entering Bigfoot County - Populated

You've just found Bigfoot County's home on the Wild Wild Web.

Not many folks find their way out here to the edge of the Web, so we appreciate your stopping by. Grab a cup of joe, maybe poke around a little bit. Just a little word of warning though. We're mostly a friendly bunch, but you do got to keep in mind that some of the free market distillers out in the backcountry don't necessarily subscribe to that old credo "A Stranger is Just a Friend We Haven't Met Yet." Some of them believe that a stranger is just a Revenoor that ain't declared himself yet. As long as you stay out of number 2 buck range, you ought to be okay.
That is to say, if you see a deer grazing in front of a stand of hickory, don't venture in there with your digital camera in hand hoping to get a picture of it. There's lots of postcards of that particular scene for sale all over the county, and you won't take a chance on unduly upsetting anyone with an itchy trigger finger who's just trying to do a day's work out in the woods.

Spend a little time in Bigfoot County, and you'll find out that some of the residents - Hell, make that most of us - don't find that the taste of whiskey is improved any by the presence of a tax stamp. You can call it moonshine if you like, but any of the local taverns'd proud to sell you a jiggerful of Bigfoot Corn.

We've had some potential tourists asking how to find Bigfoot County. The directions are pretty straightforward, but for some reason, a lot of folks think we're pretty hard to find. We don't have an airport, and the rail spur shut down a while back, so the only way to get here is by the road. You can drive, walk or hitchhike. What you want to do is to go north on old U.S. 66. Just past Cíbola Road, take a left into Hunter's Gap and head east along Garcia Ridge. Keep an eye on the horison for the begonia fields, and you'll have arrived.

For some reason, no one ever got around to doing topo maps of the area. We're not really sure why. The prevailing theory is that the surveyors went into the wrong patch of woods with their chains and flags. Some of the old-timers figure "USGS or Revenoor, gov'mnt is gov'mint". Then again, it's likely some of them might found a new calling. Every now and again, some people last seen peering thru a transit will pop up a few months later delivering corn to the taverns.

Unfotunately for your technological types, it seems that Bigfoot County is one of those rare areas where GPS units just doesn't work. The Astralphysics Department at Bigfoot County Community College tells us that the reason is due to temporally increased sunspot activity, acting in confluence with the reversed polarity magnetic field generated by the hypothetical substratospheric hyperconnection with the Bermuda Triangle. BCCC's Metaphysics Department is researching the feasibility of reprogramming a GPS unit to reweight its algorithm in favor of more mythical referents. They believe this approach will result in the same kind of turn by turn directions that modern technology has brought to the rest of the world.

Thanks for stopping by. We surely hope that next time you're in this neck of the Web, you'll drop in and say "Howdy". Leaving Bigfoot County - No OPen Containers

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